Rambling speeches 2 - Same errors
I've read my journal entry from the August 4th 2024. An entry from one year ago, while at the end of holidays. The same period I am in today.
I was curious to know how myself from one year ago handled this stressful period. I wanted to know if I was doing better today. Would everything I've done since then helped me to overcome these moments?
I've read the first page. And I laughed. I laughed so much I had cramps in my abs.
I'm not doing better than I was doing one year ago. I was as stressed, as worried than I am right now. Every efforts and sacrifices I made since then didn't matter.
I could have wrote this entry today, or every years before that. The only thing that would have changed would be my age. But apart from that, I had the same problems and I didn't found any solutions. Or at least everything that I tried didn't worked.
During those years, the only thing that I was focusing on was school. It was my only priority, the thing that mattered the most. So I ditched everything else that prevented me to focus on that. Because I thought that better grade would make me happier.
I did that because I saw my family, my friends and my loved ones suffering because of money. I though that working hard could get me a decent job and good money. I though that money could buy the happiness of those I like. Getting everything that could make them happier was the solution to me.
But it seem like I was wrong. There is literally scientific study to prove me wrong. A cognitive scientist did an entire podcast to prove me wrong.1 What I was doing during most of my life simply don't work. Even if I keep doing all of this for another decade, it won't change a thing.
It took me almost half of my life to realize that. Almost a decade of doing that before realizing that it won't work. I wasted more than half of my life doing was everyone told me to do. Almost a decade on focusing only on grades and money.
And I didn't even felt sad about it. I've wasted part of my life but I was laughing. I though that this was really funny. And I still think it is.
It's alright at least I know what wouldn't work for making people happier. I just have to focus on my happiness and the rest will be okay.
The thing is I know where to look for happiness. Looking for it in the happiness project I'm doing look like a good start. Also in the things that I ditched to prioritize school looks like a good idea too. Good thing that my happiness project will help me to do so.
Listen to the first season of The Happiness Lab Podcast :)↩